Today I purchased Halloween candy. I have a simple theory behind it.
If I buy the candy early, my family will just eat it and then I’ll have to buy
more. So I wait till the last minute. The problem with my grand plan
is that the candy is pretty picked over by now so you kind of have to take what
you can get. I started off by checking the grocery store ads to see who
had the best deals. Once I was satisfied, I took my daughter to school and
went to the store. The candy aisle looked like the Mother’s Day Card
display the day AFTER Mother’s Day. The pickings as always were
slim. That’s scary in and of itself because you don’t want to be known as
the people in the neighborhood who give out yucky candy. Now candy
companies really know a thing or two about packaging. Take your Snickers,
Milky Way and Three Musketeers bars. They are in small bags and cost a
decent amount. To give those out you would have to buy a lot of
bags. Then you see a big bag with those same candy bars in it for a
relatively reasonable price. There’s just one catch. In with the
good candy bars are candies like Whompers. Does anybody REALLY like
those? I have never met anyone who did. So every other child who
comes to your door is going to think, “Not Whompers! It wasn’t even worth
walking up the drive for these.” News like that travels fast around the
block. We can’t have that. So I continue down the line. There
is a huge bag of Kit Kats. While not necessarily a premium bar, it won’t
go in the trash pile at the end of the night for a child. Then I look at
the price. Wow! For that price I could afford to give candy out for
about 15 minutes before it was gone. So the question becomes…quality or
quantity? As with most things in life, you need both. So how much do
you buy? You think of the Halloween where you had tons left over and were
eating Sweet Tarts during the Super Bowl Party. (Those things are like
round Pez!) Then you remember the year you ran out of candy. You
would hear the doorbell and think, “Maybe if I don’t answer they’ll go
away?” Then they ring again. “They know I’m here, drat! But I
have nothing left to give them. Well, it’s time to face the music.”
You answer the door and explain that there is no more candy. Little smiles
disappear instantly and a young girl looks like she’s going to cry right over
the makeup of her Selena Gomez costume. Your heart breaks and you are this
close to handing out dollar bills from your wallet. Nope. We can’t
have a repeat of that. It leaves you with one choice, Big Guy. You
have to buy the good candy and a lot of it. You feel trapped as you drop
the bags in the cart. By the time you get done, you feel like you might be
better off handing out dollar bills. You shuffle off to the checkout line
and watch the register tape grow with purchases of candy you will probably never
get to eat. Now you can look forward to checking your child’s candy for
open wrappers or homemade treats with someone’s address on them. How do we
know that’s the right person’s address? Even if it is, why take the
chance? Sorry folks. You made rice crispy treats for nothing.
They’re going in the trash. Dude, how long till Christmas?
If I buy the candy early, my family will just eat it and then I’ll have to buy
more. So I wait till the last minute. The problem with my grand plan
is that the candy is pretty picked over by now so you kind of have to take what
you can get. I started off by checking the grocery store ads to see who
had the best deals. Once I was satisfied, I took my daughter to school and
went to the store. The candy aisle looked like the Mother’s Day Card
display the day AFTER Mother’s Day. The pickings as always were
slim. That’s scary in and of itself because you don’t want to be known as
the people in the neighborhood who give out yucky candy. Now candy
companies really know a thing or two about packaging. Take your Snickers,
Milky Way and Three Musketeers bars. They are in small bags and cost a
decent amount. To give those out you would have to buy a lot of
bags. Then you see a big bag with those same candy bars in it for a
relatively reasonable price. There’s just one catch. In with the
good candy bars are candies like Whompers. Does anybody REALLY like
those? I have never met anyone who did. So every other child who
comes to your door is going to think, “Not Whompers! It wasn’t even worth
walking up the drive for these.” News like that travels fast around the
block. We can’t have that. So I continue down the line. There
is a huge bag of Kit Kats. While not necessarily a premium bar, it won’t
go in the trash pile at the end of the night for a child. Then I look at
the price. Wow! For that price I could afford to give candy out for
about 15 minutes before it was gone. So the question becomes…quality or
quantity? As with most things in life, you need both. So how much do
you buy? You think of the Halloween where you had tons left over and were
eating Sweet Tarts during the Super Bowl Party. (Those things are like
round Pez!) Then you remember the year you ran out of candy. You
would hear the doorbell and think, “Maybe if I don’t answer they’ll go
away?” Then they ring again. “They know I’m here, drat! But I
have nothing left to give them. Well, it’s time to face the music.”
You answer the door and explain that there is no more candy. Little smiles
disappear instantly and a young girl looks like she’s going to cry right over
the makeup of her Selena Gomez costume. Your heart breaks and you are this
close to handing out dollar bills from your wallet. Nope. We can’t
have a repeat of that. It leaves you with one choice, Big Guy. You
have to buy the good candy and a lot of it. You feel trapped as you drop
the bags in the cart. By the time you get done, you feel like you might be
better off handing out dollar bills. You shuffle off to the checkout line
and watch the register tape grow with purchases of candy you will probably never
get to eat. Now you can look forward to checking your child’s candy for
open wrappers or homemade treats with someone’s address on them. How do we
know that’s the right person’s address? Even if it is, why take the
chance? Sorry folks. You made rice crispy treats for nothing.
They’re going in the trash. Dude, how long till Christmas?
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