As I work on my 4th book I find myself in a quandary. I was writing away, following my blueprint I had laid out before starting the task. Then the story began to take on a new life. Characters didn’t respond the way I had planned. I found them going in different directions than originally intended because that just seemed to be how the characters would react. I wrote and wrote as the words flowed from me and then I stopped. I looked at where I was in the book and had no recollection of the event from the story line. So I went back and read the blueprint in bullet-point again. The story was way off track and going in another direction. The question placed before me was whether to follow the new, unplanned path or go back and rewrite a relatively small (chapter) section of the book. It sounds like an easy answer, doesn’t it? I made a plan. The plan made sense. I followed the plan to this point. There is no reason to deviate. I should go back to where I went astray and change it to how I had originally envisioned it. So why have I been stuck at this point for weeks. There have been distractions and other problems to occupy my time and creative energy. But such instances have happened in the past and I have continued to write. After all, writing is the fun part of everyday life for me. I was avoiding the problem. Why would I do that? I have used this quote before but there is no harm in using it again when it rings true. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith was once on one of those “Making of…” shows where the band was making an album and the producer was trying to cut out songs from a list on the wall that was too long to all fit on the new cd. Every song he wanted to remove from the list made Tyler angrier. In the end the talented singer stormed out of the room without removing a single song. After he calmed down he talked to the camera crew and basically said, “These songs are my babies and it’s like someone’s killing one of my babies. How can I love one more than another?” At the time he was not making sense to me. I knew which songs made the cut for the album since this show was released after the disc became a smash and everything seemed to fit. Now I sit here looking at these two paths in the story I have created and I see Mr. Tyler’s wisdom. I have been putting off the change because it would kill one of my “babies”. The story would go on in a certain direction and the other storyline would cease to exist. I worked hard on that other story. It came out of me. I created it and I would be destroying it. Can you see why the decision has been so difficult? It’s not writer’s block, it’s writer’s excess. I suppose that’s why musicians have a third party producer who is not attached to the work to make these calls. With me, I have to cut one story free and move on. It is gut-wrenching but must be done. The saddest part is no one will ever know the other path existed but me. Who would have thought Steven Tyler could be so deep and wise?
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