I heard on the news the other day that the average size of the American family
has decreased to an all-time low and that population predictions have had to be
revised. Quite frankly, the issue doesn’t affect me one way or
another. This is not an attempt to influence personal decisions.
What was disturbing about it was the fact that so many families out there will
only have one child on which to learn. Let’s face it. The first
child is the test child. They are the ones you test out all the latest
potty training techniques on and try all the stuff in the parenting books.
You accidently put their clothes on backward because you don’t know any
better. If they drop their pacifier, you sterilize it before putting it
back in the child’s mouth. As they mature, they are grounded for the
smallest infractions against your rules. You go to every parent/teacher
conference if for no other reason than to hear the teacher start off with
compliments about your child. You record sporting events or dance recitals
from terrible angles where you can’t see anything. Next, you check the
sand in the playground for “items” that shouldn’t be there before letting them
play. (I saw one parent with a metal detector) Then you watch your child
like you’re the FBI as they frolic and watch for strange looking people hanging
around. You overprotect. It’s not wrong, it’s nature. This is
your first go around with this whole child thing and you want to get it
right. By child number 2 the world has changed. Potty training is a
matter of will power from the parent and embarrassment from the child. You
ignore the parenting books because most of their “techniques” don’t work on your
children. When they drop the pacifier, you rinse it off and give it back
to them. The clothing issue was solved long ago unless you have a child of
the opposite sex. Then you are still in for the “Why did you send your
child to daycare with their clothes on backward?” letter. You ease up on
the grounding after you realize all it did was make your child never want to
tell you what they did wrong. As for the parent/teacher meetings; if the
grades are good, you’re good to go. Someone points out that you can BUY a
copy of the recital recorded by professionals where you can sort of see your
child. As for the playground, you now have an older sibling to take them
to the park and play with them. The strange people you watched turn out to
be your neighbors watching you! You forget about the sand because you
remember your own childhood. There was a stainless steel slide that was
about 120 degrees in the sun that you raced up, burning your hands along the
way. Then you slid down to the end which was as sharp as a razor and took
several layers of skin off your back. In the end you landed in
gravel! And after that harrowing experience, what did you do? Did
you run to your parent or sibling? No. You raced back to the
ladder to do it all again. If you are reading this, somehow you managed to
survive. There’s nothing wrong with small families. If that’s what
you’re comfortable with or are able to have, great. It’s just that you’ve
already done the hard part. You took your lumps. With the second kid
onward you can finally set the cruise control and enjoy being a parent.
has decreased to an all-time low and that population predictions have had to be
revised. Quite frankly, the issue doesn’t affect me one way or
another. This is not an attempt to influence personal decisions.
What was disturbing about it was the fact that so many families out there will
only have one child on which to learn. Let’s face it. The first
child is the test child. They are the ones you test out all the latest
potty training techniques on and try all the stuff in the parenting books.
You accidently put their clothes on backward because you don’t know any
better. If they drop their pacifier, you sterilize it before putting it
back in the child’s mouth. As they mature, they are grounded for the
smallest infractions against your rules. You go to every parent/teacher
conference if for no other reason than to hear the teacher start off with
compliments about your child. You record sporting events or dance recitals
from terrible angles where you can’t see anything. Next, you check the
sand in the playground for “items” that shouldn’t be there before letting them
play. (I saw one parent with a metal detector) Then you watch your child
like you’re the FBI as they frolic and watch for strange looking people hanging
around. You overprotect. It’s not wrong, it’s nature. This is
your first go around with this whole child thing and you want to get it
right. By child number 2 the world has changed. Potty training is a
matter of will power from the parent and embarrassment from the child. You
ignore the parenting books because most of their “techniques” don’t work on your
children. When they drop the pacifier, you rinse it off and give it back
to them. The clothing issue was solved long ago unless you have a child of
the opposite sex. Then you are still in for the “Why did you send your
child to daycare with their clothes on backward?” letter. You ease up on
the grounding after you realize all it did was make your child never want to
tell you what they did wrong. As for the parent/teacher meetings; if the
grades are good, you’re good to go. Someone points out that you can BUY a
copy of the recital recorded by professionals where you can sort of see your
child. As for the playground, you now have an older sibling to take them
to the park and play with them. The strange people you watched turn out to
be your neighbors watching you! You forget about the sand because you
remember your own childhood. There was a stainless steel slide that was
about 120 degrees in the sun that you raced up, burning your hands along the
way. Then you slid down to the end which was as sharp as a razor and took
several layers of skin off your back. In the end you landed in
gravel! And after that harrowing experience, what did you do? Did
you run to your parent or sibling? No. You raced back to the
ladder to do it all again. If you are reading this, somehow you managed to
survive. There’s nothing wrong with small families. If that’s what
you’re comfortable with or are able to have, great. It’s just that you’ve
already done the hard part. You took your lumps. With the second kid
onward you can finally set the cruise control and enjoy being a parent.
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