It wasn’t so long ago. At least I don’t think it was so long ago. It
doesn’t seem like so long ago. But maybe it really was long ago. I
used to be able to make decisions. That’s right. I used to be able
to decide between choice A or choice B. Now, I have to ask my wife before
I make any choice. It didn’t strike me until the other day when we were
grocery shopping and the clerk asked me if I wanted paper or plastic bags.
I looked frantically to my wife standing behind the cart and she replied,
“Paper”. A few minutes later the clerk asked me if I wanted my laundry
detergent in a bag or left out. I paused. ‘Shouldn’t it go in a
bag?’ ‘Everything else is going in a bag. Why not add this?’
‘But it does have that handle which makes the bag unnecessary and a waste of
paper.’ ‘Let me look at the other registers. Are other people having
their detergent put into bags?’ ‘Rats! How can no one in any of
these lines be buying laundry detergent at this moment except me?’ ‘Do
they never wash their clothes?’ ‘Maybe there was a big laundry detergent
sale and I missed it?’ ‘That would be my luck!’ But the guy is still
staring at me waiting for an answer. ‘What will it hurt to have it in a
bag?’ ‘Wait a minute. It could break open and ruin whatever food is
in there’ ‘Surely the person bagging the groceries wouldn’t put soap in
the same bag as food.’ ‘Then again this kid isn’t even old enough to
shave. He might not know any better.’ Panic-struck I look at my wife
and she says to the patient clerk, “Just leave it out. It will be
fine.” Then it struck me. I can’t make decisions for myself
anymore. How could such a thing happen? I used to be assertive and
self-assured. Now I can’t decide if laundry soap should go in a bag or
not. How did I get this way? The obvious theory is what we will call
“The Wife Theory”. I am so used to my wife making these kinds of choices
that I have lost the ability to do so out of lack of use. That leads to
the chicken and egg question. Can I not make up my own mind because my
wife dominates my choices? Or does my wife dominate my choices because I
cannot make up my own mind. Well, one could argue that I have been told my
opinion was wrong so many times that I gave up trying to decide for myself and
save the argument. That would certainly explain my indecision. On
the other hand, these are not the kind of choices I make often, whereas my wife
makes them all the time. Perhaps I am bowing to her experience. That
makes sense too. After all, I wouldn’t go to her and ask how to write a
novel. That is a field where I have experience. I do make some
decisions. It just seems when we are together I look to her for guidance
more than I used to. On the plus side, her choice is nearly always the
right one. Maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle of the two
viewpoints. Whatever the case, it seems to be working so maybe this isn’t
the hill on which I want to die. I’ll decide something else.
doesn’t seem like so long ago. But maybe it really was long ago. I
used to be able to make decisions. That’s right. I used to be able
to decide between choice A or choice B. Now, I have to ask my wife before
I make any choice. It didn’t strike me until the other day when we were
grocery shopping and the clerk asked me if I wanted paper or plastic bags.
I looked frantically to my wife standing behind the cart and she replied,
“Paper”. A few minutes later the clerk asked me if I wanted my laundry
detergent in a bag or left out. I paused. ‘Shouldn’t it go in a
bag?’ ‘Everything else is going in a bag. Why not add this?’
‘But it does have that handle which makes the bag unnecessary and a waste of
paper.’ ‘Let me look at the other registers. Are other people having
their detergent put into bags?’ ‘Rats! How can no one in any of
these lines be buying laundry detergent at this moment except me?’ ‘Do
they never wash their clothes?’ ‘Maybe there was a big laundry detergent
sale and I missed it?’ ‘That would be my luck!’ But the guy is still
staring at me waiting for an answer. ‘What will it hurt to have it in a
bag?’ ‘Wait a minute. It could break open and ruin whatever food is
in there’ ‘Surely the person bagging the groceries wouldn’t put soap in
the same bag as food.’ ‘Then again this kid isn’t even old enough to
shave. He might not know any better.’ Panic-struck I look at my wife
and she says to the patient clerk, “Just leave it out. It will be
fine.” Then it struck me. I can’t make decisions for myself
anymore. How could such a thing happen? I used to be assertive and
self-assured. Now I can’t decide if laundry soap should go in a bag or
not. How did I get this way? The obvious theory is what we will call
“The Wife Theory”. I am so used to my wife making these kinds of choices
that I have lost the ability to do so out of lack of use. That leads to
the chicken and egg question. Can I not make up my own mind because my
wife dominates my choices? Or does my wife dominate my choices because I
cannot make up my own mind. Well, one could argue that I have been told my
opinion was wrong so many times that I gave up trying to decide for myself and
save the argument. That would certainly explain my indecision. On
the other hand, these are not the kind of choices I make often, whereas my wife
makes them all the time. Perhaps I am bowing to her experience. That
makes sense too. After all, I wouldn’t go to her and ask how to write a
novel. That is a field where I have experience. I do make some
decisions. It just seems when we are together I look to her for guidance
more than I used to. On the plus side, her choice is nearly always the
right one. Maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle of the two
viewpoints. Whatever the case, it seems to be working so maybe this isn’t
the hill on which I want to die. I’ll decide something else.
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